Empathy

A close friend of mine received a text message of how her relative had passed away, in the middle of a work meeting. She lives thousand of miles away & there is no way she could return home amidst these pandemic times.

Which got my mind thinking; I could not imagine how it must have felt like to receive news of your loved ones’ death via a text message. Will i feel remorse or grief? Will i be in disbelief? Or will i just be jaded from all the constant scrolling on social media?

I felt like i could very easily fall into the third category. It is increasingly becoming more difficult to empathise in this day & age. For me, at least. I have a mild obsession for horror stories and ever since i discovered Reddit, that obsession is being fed very regularly. And with every post, i can feel that my empathy is dissipating away. It is not that i enjoy watching people suffer. It was completely the opposite. I think i love fictional horror stories and when i am met with real life ones, i… don’t meet them.

Recently, (i think many of us are aware) there is a major unrest in the United States. I am very, very far from America but on Reddit, i get to read many, many stories from the people (this is why i love Reddit). There are a lot of videos showing how the police are just plainly abusing the very people they are supposed to protect. I never watched any of them. I don’t like the idea of watching them and seeing people suffer needlessly.

In that sense, i think that is how i kept myself away from actively feeling my emotions. I am very privileged, i am very lucky. I do not have to suffer what the Americans are suffering through. So it may sound like my opinions are highly ignorant. Maybe. That’s why my mind pondered.

I don’t really know what i am feeling or thinking as of now. (This has been happening pretty frequently) I know i have not been as empathetic as i used to be, and i don’t know if i am comfortable with that. Is it okay if i want to stay the way i am now, or is it something i should improve on? If i improve it, will i actually be contented with myself? If i don’t, can i live with myself?

Questions, questions.